June 10th, Maybe I’ll Make It

According to the countdown on my phone’s home screen, I have 19 days left to submit my proposal to the open call. And yesterday, while applying what might be the final glaze on the final painting of the series (at least for now), I thought: maybe I’ll make it.

I didn’t think it with excitement. I thought it the same way a glaze is applied: slowly, carefully, without fully knowing what will remain once it dries.

And that brings me to what I want to share today: the importance of having goals with clear deadlines.

When I first read the open call in February, June 30 felt like an arbitrary date. An external deadline that had nothing to do with me, until I started painting and realized that if I didn’t adopt that date as my own, nothing was going to change, and I probably wouldn’t make it.

Without a clear deadline, a series of paintings, or really, almost anything (something I’m only now beginning to understand) can remain in a permanent state of “almost finished.” Without a date, perfectionism has far too much room to operate. You keep adjusting, doubting, planning, or procrastinating without direction. Without daring to answer the uncomfortable question: is this what I want to say?

Having a deadline forced me to answer that question. And I’m not talking about deadlines in terms of the pressure or stress they bring to the table (although, when channeled well, that can be important too). I’m talking about the structure they provide. Like the stretcher that gives shape to a canvas before you begin to paint.

There are 19 days left. The work is almost ready.

And, interestingly enough, so am I.